


The Days of Our Youth

by paboland



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Childhood Friends, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28134186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paboland/pseuds/paboland
Summary: Miyeon had been in love with Minnie for years, the problem was that she was her childhood best friend.Oh, and also straight, did she mention she was straight?or,Where Minnie has started to question how straight she is if her best friend constantly gives her butterflies.Loosely inspired in the Reply 1988 setting.
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 25
Kudos: 173





	1. Head Over Heels

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cry for help for more Miyeon/Minnie stories! 
> 
> Set in the late 80s, but I'm basing it on today's mindset of homosexuality. Not ideal, but a little more bearable.
> 
> All of them are the same age in this story.
> 
> The chapter's name is after the song Head Over Heels from Tears For Fears.

The six of them didn’t remember how they became friends, they just did. Some were friends from the womb, born into close families that were years-long neighbors, others met before they even knew how to write. 

But the baseline was, a lot of time passed and they never grew apart. 

Middle school passed, so did high school, and the six friends had always find new ways to be together. It wasn’t always easy, but they figured it out.

College wasn’t going to be any different.

—

“Yeonnie! You didn’t have to come all the way back here to pick this whiny one, we could have sent her in the next garbage truck” One of the twins wraps an arm around Miyeon, Mac, she recognizes because of the slightly longer hair and more forward and playful attitude.

“Shut up prick!” Minnie sulks as she pushes her older brother, not doing much to deny the whiny attitude her brothers always called her out for. “I swear I’m gonna kick your ass!”.

The sound of Minnie’s older brothers booing and cooing their sister was interrupted by a loud slamming of a door, the classic way their mother had to put an end to her children’s stupid behavior. Miyeon could only smile, as the usual scene unfolds in front of her.

“Miyeon, I just want thank you again for coming back to pick Minnie, our flight got canceled last minute and we only managed to get here yesterday” the elegant woman had a kind and loving voice, one Miyeon heard too many times growing up, although not always peaceful like this, but from all the versions of the older woman’s voice she heard throughout the years, this was her favorite. “Let me at least pay for your gas”

“There’s no need ms. Kim, dad filled the tank earlier when I got here” 

“Well, then off you go, I don’t want you to drive back in the dark” Ms. Kim shooed both her daughter and Miyeon, both caring a handful of Minnie’s belongings. 

After putting everything in the trunk and back seat, the family bid their goodbyes, not forgetting to thank Miyeon again, and soon the loud noise of what could only be the engine of Miyeon’s 84 Hyundai Pony could be heard all over the neighborhood.

—

The drive to the university was at least 3 hours long, so Miyeon was expecting to get there before dinner. 

The strong wind that blew on Miyeon’s long chestnut hair was a strong reminder that Fall just started, bringing along the cold weather and the beginning of a new semester. A soft harmony was coming from her cassette player and by her side Minnie whistled along with the melodies of her favorite songs from the last year’s MBC song festival tape, fidgeting with her seat belt and occasionally looking at her friend.

The fade-out of the guitar was accompanied by the soft click signalizing the tape was over. Miyeon takes the initiative to open her glove compartment and gestures to Minnie to go ahead and choose whatever she wants to listen to next. Minnie offers an excited smile, digging in and looking at the numerous cassette tapes scattered inside the compartment.

“It’s almost all Lee Moon Sae, you have like every one of his tapes” Minnie’s whines should imply that she was annoyed, but she wasn’t, far from it really, it was her favorite singer and she knows Miyeon was aware of it too.

“There’s some other stuff there too! I got you that new deluxe tape that released the other day though, if you want to listen to it”

“No way! It was sold out everywhere, it was in the news and everything” Minnie resists the urge to grab and shake her friend, not wanting to cause a car accident. “How were you able to get it?”

“I waited in line silly, I think it’s somewhere in the back”

Miyeon didn’t feel the need to tell the other woman, but that day she went out in the morning, before the sun was even out, wrapped around a thick coat as the rain threatened to pour and waited for hours so she could get this tape, she knew Minnie would be traveling and was going to be upset to not get it first hand. 

The new sound filled the car since Minnie couldn’t wait to listen and the sweat melody had Miyeon thinking how long it would take until she would hear it coming from the other girl’s lips, Minnie always being one to randomly whistle and sing to her favorite songs.

“Yeonnie, I’m so happy, I swear I could kiss you right now” Minnie closes her eyes as the soft piano of the music travels with them. The cold wind of the late afternoon brings a chill to Miyeon’s bones, making her squeeze the steering wheel harder as the soft pink of her cheeks darkened with heat that couldn’t possibly be from the weather.

“That’s was all that took for you to want to kiss me? To give you a tape?” Miyeon didn’t dare to look at her friend, focusing on the road and ignoring the skipping beats of her heart. 

“No! You are not even my type!”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Kim Minnie” 

Miyeon remembers being hurt when Minnie would say something like that when they were younger.

When they were around 13, she didn’t know why, but she remembers that she got so upset that she put on her coat and left the other girl’s house without a word, ignoring all of her friend's protests. The other day Minnie showered Miyeon with compliments and treated her the best she could, but it didn’t take long for the teasing to comeback. 

After a few years, the teasing didn’t affect Miyeon anymore and she just bickered back, she knows it shouldn’t even upset her in the first place. They’re only friends for god’s sake!

“How was your trip anyway?”

“The same as every year, tons of relatives I don’t know well, a lot of inconvenient questions” Minnie was Thai, but they had immigrated to South Korea before Minnie was born, so she had never really lived there, but since her family was wealthy they got to visit the country regularly. “The food’s always really good though”

As immersed as she was with the country she was born into, Minnie liked to be in contact with her culture and made an effort not to lose her identity, even so, everyone liked to call her Kim Minnie, as she was almost a full Korean. 

It all started when they were kids, they were sitting in Minnie’s room and one of their friends asked her what was her full name, probably Shuhua. Minnie had said to them it was Nicha Yontararak, to what their other friend Yuqi had said loud ‘WHAT’ in response, and proceeded to try to say it correctly a bunch of times in fast speed. It was the smallest of them, Soyeon, that said “You kind of look like a Kim Minnie”.  
  
After that day, all of her friends started to call her Kim Minnie and in no time they started to call her mom and dad Mr. and Ms. Kim, to what they never really opposed to it, finding it amusing.

“They keep asking me about boyfriends, then they’re asking about girlfriends and they’re like ‘Cause you know it’s cool if you like girls’” Minnie lowers her voice, mimicking one of her uncles. “It’s always like this! Or they’re trying to marry me off to someone they know who’s ‘around my age’”

“Well, I think it’s nice that they are open-minded, also by your age all of them were probably already married with kids” Miyeon took one hand off the steering wheel to grab Minnie’s one, lightly squeezing to offer some comfort. “Wasn’t it Mic that said to them that we were dating?”

“Mac” Minnie didn’t let go of Miyeon’s hand, choosing to intertwine her fingers together, to what Miyeon happily complied, it was a straight road anyway, she would do her best to drive with one hand if Minnie wanted her to. “Some of my uncles still think it’s true”

Miyeon chose to not answer to that, so she only smiled briefly to Minnie and looked back to the road, also not saying anything when Minnie put their intertwined hands on top of her thighs, caressing the top of Miyeon’s hand with her thumb. 

But it was nothing out of the ordinary between them, not Miyeon’s racing heartbeat, or the butterflies that threatened to fly out of Miyeon’s stomach, not even the fact that Minnie had no idea how Miyeon felt.

—

Miyeon helped Minnie bring all her luggage to their now shared dorm room, she only missed a couple of days of class, but everyone else was already settled in their respective rooms and well aware of their new classes. 

Minnie normally roomed with Soyeon and Miyeon with Yuqi, but for whatever reason this semester Soyeon asked Minnie if she could share the room with Miyeon instead, so she could room with Yuqi. Minnie was fine with it, she had no preference with who she roomed with as long it was someone from their friend group.

Of course, there was no way Shuhua would give up rooming with Soojin, a spot claimed since their first semester in college, so she naturally roomed with Soyeon since they’re both majoring in music and Yuqi and Miyeon shared the other room by default.

The room was small, as most college dorms are, with a study desk and a bunk bed, as well as the empty drawers that used to be for Yuqi’s clothes. The dorm design was the same as the one she shared with Soyeon on the previous semesters, all but the few hats scattered around, a pile of books on the corner, and the familiar scent of Miyeon’s lavender perfume, bringing a feeling of peace to Minnie as the room felt so characteristically Miyeon’s.  
  
“Do you want to take the upper bed?” Miyeon brings Minnie’s attention to her, taking off her blue university hat and putting it on the desk over her car keys. “Yuqi liked sleeping on the top, I don’t care either way”

“I don’t like the top bed, you know I move a lot in my sleep, I’m afraid I’ll fall” Minnie sat on the bottom bed, running her hands against the bedsheets, claiming it as hers. 

Miyeon hummed in agreement, checking her clock to see if they would still make it in time for dinner. Soojin had talked to her earlier, agreeing to meet later than usual in the cafeteria, this way they would have enough time to get there. In all honesty, Miyeon was exhausted, making a 6 hours drive in one day was not easy on someone who wasn’t used to long drives, but she didn’t want Minnie to feel bad about it, so wasn’t going to say it, she had done crazier and more demanding things for her friend without complaining. 

“We have to leave soon if we want to make it to dinner” Miyeon sits on the bed by Minnie’s side, leaning her back against the wall. Minnie didn’t shy the opportunity of laying her head on her friend’s lap and almost as an automatic response Miyeon’s hands made the way to her hair, caressing the soft black locks.

“That’s fine, let’s stay like this for a while” Minnie looked at Miyeon with her usual cute face, the squinted eyes and pouted lips she knew melted Miyeon every single time. 

Just like that Miyeon was ready to say yes to anything Minnie said.

—

Miyeon couldn’t recall the first time Minnie made her heart flutter, but she remembered vividly the time she realized she was in love with her.

They would soon graduate high school and everyone was excited and nervous about the future. 

Miyeon wasn’t strange to relationships, she had some, and although short lengthy, she wouldn’t say she’s completely inexperienced. She saw all of her friends get involved with someone at least once, like Yuqi who had a new fling every other week, being the social butterfly she is, or like Soojin who whereas many people wanted her, she was extremely picky.

It was fine as long as the girls were happy, right?

Well, happy was the last thing she felt when she walked into Minnie’s room to return some notes she borrowed earlier and had the unsettling view of Minnie making out with a boy. Miyeon recognized the boy as one of Minnie’s friends from her weekly piano classes and honestly had heard her friend gushing about him before, but that didn’t affect her the same way as seeing it right in front of her eyes. 

That day she mumbled a low apology and exited the house at the speed of light, her head heavy and feeling like she took a punch to the guts. In the night she couldn’t sleep and the image of Minnie’s lips on him and her hands on his neck made her want to vomit. 

After screaming in her pillow about how annoyed she was and consciously ignoring Minnie’s calls, taking the phone off the hook after the second call, Miyeon started to wonder why she feeling this way. Minnie thought Miyeon was upset that she didn’t tell her about it, but Miyeon could think of at least 99 things that upset her more than the fact Minnie was keeping a secret from her.

She didn’t feel this way when she saw Yuqi kissing that extremely tall guy from the close neighborhood, or when Shuhua dated that beautiful Taiwanese exchange student.

But right now, the thought of Minnie in that boy’s arms made her want to rip all of her hair out. 

She couldn’t possibly like the her, right?

Well, she did think she was extremely beautiful and cute and sometimes she thought about her before she went to bed or when she woke up. She knows sometimes her heartbeat will become irregular when the girl hugs her for a little too long, or when she holds her hand, but she imagined it to be normal since her friend was extremely pretty.

But the thought of being in that guy’s place, holding Minnie’s waist and tasting her lips had Miyeon’s heart twirling with excitement. She knew she shouldn’t feel like this towards a friend. Her best friend.

They talked about it the next day, Miyeon assured Minnie she wasn’t upset (although she was, for different reasons, reasons she would never tell anyone) and said she was just shocked.

Minnie did date him, but only for a few months, they broke up a few days before graduation.

After acknowledging her feelings, Miyeon agonized every second she saw them together, but she did her best to keep it together. 

She wouldn’t let a stupid crush ruin their friendship. What if Minnie was weirded out by it? It would mess with the stability of their entire friend group. She couldn’t afford to lose her, and even if deep down she knew Minnie would never give up on their life long friendship, the fear of making things weird between them restrained every other one of Miyeon’s thoughts.  
When the first semester of uni rolled by, Shuhua and Soojin announced they had started dating and Minnie was so happy and supportive of them, a blaze of hope ignited in Miyeon’s heart. 

But it went off as soon as it started when Minnie started dating someone else. It didn’t last long, but it was enough to crush the remnant of Miyeon’s hope.

She decided she would be a good best friend for Minnie, if that was the only thing she would ever be to her, at least she was going to enjoy it to the fullest. 

—

Minnie quickly realized how rooming with Miyeon was extremely different than rooming with Soyeon.

For instance, Miyeon never left her clothes or food wrappers lying around the room floor, blasted to the radio on full volume, or borrowed Minnie’s walkman headphones without asking. Miyeon would also always drive Minnie to class in the morning and offer to pick her up if she was out until nighttime. 

Some things remained the same, she would still meet Soyeon in class, study together for assignments and go out together with their classmates for a drink on Friday nights. 

Today was one of those days, a bunch of people from the music department got together at a small bar near uni, there were a lot of them, from seniors to juniors, all reunited for the wonders of a late afternoon drink. Miyeon had offered to pick her up later, but since it wasn’t far from the dorms and she was with Soyeon, she turned down the offer.

“So Minnie,” one of her seniors, Seungri, she recognizes, calls her in the midst of the loud conversations of drunk university students, filling her shot glass with soju while wearing a smirk “you’re friends with Cho Miyeon, right? From the science department?”

“Yeah, we grew up together,” Minnie bows her head to the senior with a thankful smile, covering her mouth as she chugs her drink in one go, intoxicated enough to not notice the malice on the boy’s voice. Sitting next to her, Soyeon glared at the boy, not liking where this conversation was going at all. “why you ask?”

“She’s a fucking snack, that’s why!” one of Seungri friends shouted a few chairs away, earning some laughs and high fives from their friends.

“Me and the boys here were just wondering if she’s ‘available’” Seungri emphasizes the last word, making no effort to oppose his friend’s disgusting remark. From the laughs and parallel conversations in the background, Minnie and Soyeon could make out some infuriating comments being made about their friend, which fueled Soyeon’s anger to a point where her whole face was red with anger.

Feeling Soyeon protective and angry energy radiating by her side, Minnie placed a hand on the small girl’s thigh under the table, with a strong grip that didn’t do anything to calm her down, since Minnie was fuming with anger herself, but delivered a clear ‘let me handle this’. Minnie wasn’t about to fuel their egos by giving the response they were expecting. 

“Even if she was ‘available’, none of you would stand a chance with her” Minnie passively-aggressively eyed them, leaning her back into the chair. The energy took a sharp turn downhill and the tension was palpable. Not being used to women taking powerful stances against him, Seungri found himself thinking about a clever comeback, but before he could word his thoughts, Soyeon took the liberty to get up abruptly, the loud noise of her chair screeching on the wooden floor bringing all the eyes to her.

“We are going now” Soyeon, having already grabbed enough in her wallet to pay for her and Minnie, puts the money on the table and bids her friends goodbye, ignoring her seniors completely. When they reach the exit, Minnie puts her arm around Soyeon’s shoulder, offering her the kind of comfort that only a long-time friend can.

“I bet Shuhua would break a bottle on his head if she was here” Minnie playfully breaks the silence, as they turned left on their way back to the dorms. Soyeon laughs, showing Minnie her signature gummy smile, a lot more comfortable and relaxed alone with someone she loved and trusted.

“If I hear they talking about her like this again, I swear to god Minnie-”

“We crash their heads into the ground, yes” Minnie ruffles Soyeon's short hair playfully, wanting to brighten up the mood, even if on the inside she was still so fucking mad about the things they were saying about her best friend. That wasn’t the first time guys came up to her to ask about Miyeon.

And it made Minnie extremely uncomfortable.

All her friends were gorgeous, so of course, there were always tons of people pining after them. But something about boys and girls so bluntly thirsting after Miyeon always made Minnie feel weird. Maybe was because she was the closest to her of all the girls. Or because she felt extra protective when it came to her, even if Miyeon was normally the one standing up for her in most situations.

Some boys were gross and wanted to take advantage of her friend, talking ill things about her and it made Minnie sick. They paid little matter about Miyeon’s sexuality and liked to challenge themselves to ‘turn her straight’, whatever that meant.

In all truth, Miyeon is a very private person when it comes to her intimate relationships, she doesn’t even share much about who she thinks is attractive or who she has a crush on, and when they talked about this stuff Minnie was usually the one doing the talking, while Miyeon would only listen.

Minnie never questioned Miyeon's sexuality, it didn’t matter anyway, but always had a hunch her friend liked women.

In the early years of high school Minnie’s found her prediction to be true when Miyeon had an intense but short relationship with an older student named Sana. They only dated for a couple of months and Miyeon never really told her the reason they broke up, but she didn’t seem heartbroken by it, so Minnie assumed they ended on a good page.

It was not hard to notice a pattern when Miyeon’s next relationships were the same as if they had an expiring date, they never surpassed the two-month mark.

Miyeon never seemed sad when she was going through a break-up, almost like it was no big deal to her. God only knows how Minnie suffered when she went through a break-up, Miyeon always there to hold her when she cried, to watch her favorite movies with her and talk to her on the phone all night.

Minnie often felt selfish for it, but she loved to feel like she was Miyeon’s number one priority and Miyeon may not feel it, but she would give everything up if her friend so asked her to. 

She loved all her friends, but her love for Miyeon somehow felt different. 

Minnie could feel Miyeon was hiding something from her. 

And although it hurts that Miyeon would hide things from her, she never asked why, she knew Miyeon would never keep anything from her unless she had a strong reason and Minnie could only wait one day she would feel comfortable enough to tell her.

  
—

  
There were many instances where Miyeon felt like Minnie could kill her. Times, when she felt like her heart was expanding, ready to combust, where her stomach was flipping with excitement, times her breath hitched and goosebumps were all over her body. 

People use to say that unrequited love passed with time.

She was expecting these feelings to end for over 2 years now and it was only getting worse.

When she first realized she had a crush on Minnie, she tried to go out more, to hook up with different people, tried to feel something, anything not Minnie related. It worked at first, feelings of lust and excitement fogging her mind. But it didn’t take long for her to wonder what Minnie’s lips would taste like every time someone kissed her, or imagine how Minnie’s voice would sound like inebriated with pleasure.

No matter what she kept circling back and her mind was filled with her.

_Minnie, Minnie, Minnie._

It wasn’t fair, she knew it.

It came a time where she decided to stop seeing other people until she could control her feelings towards her friend, to go out with other people would only hurt them, as she was unable to return their feelings. 

Sana had been the only person she has had true feelings for before Minnie, luckily they were mutual at the time and they were able to date for a short time. It worked out in the beginning, they had a lot in common and everything was an exciting first for the inexperienced high school student Miyeon was at the time. 

But high school relationships hardly ever work out and feeling cooled down.

Luckily they were able to end up in a good place, both of them agreeing they would be better off as friends.

After Sana, all of her relationships had been an attempt to forget about her feelings for Minnie, they were never more than lukewarm feeling and fleeing attractions.

Miyeon felt liked she was numbed to love anyone else but Minnie.

But the Minnie she loved was passionate. 

Minnie loved intensely and wore all her feelings on her shoulders at all times. Minnie always loved too much and dived headfirst in every relationship. Minnie who would be glowing when she was corresponded and crying herself to sleep every night when she wasn’t.

And Miyeon loved Minnie passionately, with every fiber of her being. 

She remembers crying in her bedroom alone the night Minnie broke up with her first boyfriend. That night she held Minnie while she sobbed, running her hands through her hair and whispering comfort words, placing lingering kisses on the crowd of her head. At that moment Miyeon allowed herself to be Minnie’s anchor and offered her best friend every once of support she had in her.

Later she broke down under her covers, she cried thinking about Minnie’s heartbroken face, cried with anger about the boy who had been so lucky to be with Minnie, but threw it all away, cried with sorrow wishing she could be the one Minnie would love.

The worst of it was, even if it hurts to be close to the girl, it hurt infinitely more to be away, after all, she was her best friend. 

—

“Miyeon, did you know Shuhua-” 

“Shut up JinJin!” 

Saturday night drinking was a friend tradition between the 6 of them that began as soon as they started college. Nothing fancy, just the 6 of them reunited in one of their dorm rooms with the cheapest alcohol they could find, those who left a bad aftertaste and an even worse hangover the other day.

Soojin, who was normally quiet and collected, was the funniest and most carefree when drunk, secure in between trusted friends.

“Shuhua had a crush on Miyeon in middle school!” Soojin said between laughs and hiccups, leading to a loud reaction from all the girls in the room. Shuhua yelling in despair, Yuqi and Soyeon rolling on the floor laughing, while Miyeon and Minnie seemed too shocked to react. “What? You said you didn’t care if I told her”

“I thought you wouldn’t” Shuhua grunts, looking for Miyeon’s eyes desperately “I was 13 okay! Don’t take things the wrong way” 

“It’s okay Shuhua, you’d have to be blind to not notice how attractive Miyeonnie is” Yuqi pats Shuhua’s back, earning a _‘that’s what I told her’_ from Soojin, who was already opening another bottle. 

“That’s not true…” Miyeon scratches the back of her head, voice low and full of embarrassment.

“Are you kidding? If you want to, you could probably date anyone on campus” Yuqi exclaims loudly and okay, _ouch_ , that one hit a little too close to home. 

Shuhua was kind enough to change the subject, probably because of her own embarrassment, but Miyeon was thankful either way.

Minnie didn’t say a word during the entire exchange, staring at Miyeon the whole time, and that fact itself, made her feel uneasy and exposed as if Soojin had revealed her secret instead of Shuhua’s. 

The conversation progressed, taking different twists and turns, but Miyeon could still feel Minnie’s side gaze burning at the side of her head throughout the whole night.

  
—

  
Miyeon has been on Minnie’s mind since that night with Soyeon. 

She was pissed with what happened, obviously, but she also began to observe her friend a little more, constantly finding herself thinking about her in class.

It wasn’t a foreign concept to have her best friend in mind, but for some reason, she felt curious about what was it that Miyeon was so secretive about. It wasn’t like Minnie had a problem with the fact that she liked the woman. So what was it that made Miyeon so uncomfortable when they were talking about relationships? 

Miyeon couldn’t possibly think that Minnie didn’t notice how her face would twitch at the bare mention of it and how she so desperately tried to change subjects every time, right?

“Shuhua had a crush on Miyeon in middle school!”

_Wait, what?_

Minnie could barely hear her friends laughing and screaming beside her as her mind was froze in a state of shock.

_Well, that she was unexpected._

She could hear Yuqi and Soojin blabbering about how attractive Miyeon was and as she stared at her best friend, she lost count of how many times Miyeon’s nervous eyes met hers.

That entire night Minnie couldn’t take her eyes out of Miyeon.

And maybe it was the cheap alcohol, or she was just curious about what was it that kept Miyeon looking so nervous when she looked at her.

Even in the dim light of the room, Minnie could make out the pinkish blush on Miyeon’s cheeks and how her sharp nose twitched when she took a sip of the strong drink. 

Could be the alcohol, burning through her throat after she took a shot, but this feeling on her stomach didn’t feel like the usual aftermath of strong alcohol, it felt less corrosive, but way more violent. Somehow her heart was beating a little faster, but Minnie was a little too drunk to remember the regular frequency of her heart.

Yes, it could be the alcohol, but _woah_ , was Miyeon always this pretty? 

—

  
Saturday night drinking was weird.

But not even the slight hangover or the conflicting feelings in Minnie’s mind from yesterday weren't enough to come in between today’s event. Maybe drinking so much the day before wasn’t the best idea, but it wasn't something they couldn't manage.

  
Miyeon and Minnie had many traditions, ones they didn’t share with their other friends. The college musician's festival was a new one, but it was sacred either way. It was only their second year of college, but they had promised to not miss a single concert while they were here. 

Towards the beginning of the semester, there was a big festival, with famous singers on a larger venue, while the end of the year festival was more focused on newer, upcoming talents, being a competition that was televised every year on Christmas night.

“Yeonnie I’m so excited, they said on the radio Lee Soo Man it’s gonna play- oh and Kim Chang Wan and-” Minnie rumbles after the first band bid their goodbyes, and staff worked hurriedly on the equipment for the next musician. 

“Minnie, calm down” Miyeon laughs, being forced to stand closer to Minnie with each passing minute, as the people in the venue started unwinding and losing their sense of personal space, making it almost impossible to stand more than one foot apart. It was one of the most expected events for college students all year and being university students, most of them were already trashed out drunk, pushing each other wishing to get a better view of the stage. 

As the next act was announced on stage, the loud cheering of the crowd and the music blasting on the speakers made it impossible for them to hear each other without screaming. 

The peak of the song came and everyone was jumping and dancing along, but there was a particularly hard push from someone besides Minnie that had her flying towards Miyeon. Protective friend Miyeon was usually quicker to react than gay panicked Miyeon, so she took her in her arms to prevent her from falling. 

“Woah, thanks Yeonnie!” Minnie yells, taking the liberty of grabbing Miyeon’s arms and wrapping herself in her friend’s embrace, pressing her back against Miyeon’s front, perhaps drunk on the hype of the situation or wanting to avoid being pushed around again. 

Miyeon’s protective friend facet crumbled as soon as the smell of Minnie’s shampoo filled her nostrils and her hair tickled her cheek. The irregular pounding of her heart was now merging with the loud bass that came from the speakers and vibrated through their bodies. 

Miyeon could only hope Minnie wouldn’t be able to differentiate them. 

The concert went by like that, with Miyeon’s arms wrapped around Minnie’s frame, Minnie turning her head to comment every time she liked a song or that the host made embarrassing questions to the singers. 

They danced together, swaying to the rhythm of their favorite songs, with Minnie bumping against Miyeon, smiling while she mouthed along with the lyrics.

How could Miyeon fall out of love with someone like Kim Minnie?

The last act was Minnie’s favorite, who Miyeon had grown to love over the years and something about the romantic melody of his songs and Minnie’s body tightly pressed against her was more inebriating than any amount of alcohol Miyeon could drink and she found herself ready to risk it all. 

“I think I’m in love with you!” Miyeon found herself saying before she could stop herself.

“What?” Minnie yells, turning her head to look at Miyeon, loud instruments playing over their voices. “I didn’t hear you, the music is too loud!”

“I said I really love this song!” 

“Oh yeah! Me too!” 

_Miyeon wanted to die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, please share your thoughts with me!
> 
> Please forgive any mistakes as English is not my first language and it's been a long time since I wrote anything. I was just tired of looking for new Mimin stories and founding none, so I decided to write one myself ┐(´ – `)┌
> 
> In the next chapters, the other girls will be more present!
> 
> Anyway, I wish you all a great holiday in whichever way you choose to spend it, as long as it's safe! 
> 
> See you!


	2. You Are Always By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! 
> 
> Like the other one, this is Un-Beta'd, so any mistakes here are completely my fault.
> 
> (English is not my first language, I'm just a fellow neverland/mimin shipper wanting to contribute to the fandom)
> 
> If you're interested, the songs mentioned in this chapter are Kim Hyun Sik's You Are Always By My Side, which is the name of the chapter, and Lee Moon Sae's A Little Girl.

_“This next letter came directly from Seoul University and for privacy matters, the writer chose to identify as Green Crocodile”._

_‘Hello DJ Sunny,_

_Fall always makes me feel extra lonely._

_I’m writing this letter as a fan of the show, but also as a desperate friend in need of advice since I have no one else to talk to about this._

_I’m a college student who’s pathetically in love with my best friend._

_You may wonder, why can’t I ask my other friends for advice?_

_That’s because all of us are childhood friends who lived in the same neighborhood, that includes my crush as well. It’s complicated because I’m constantly afraid of making her or one of our friends uncomfortable with my undesired feelings._

_I’ve been harboring these feelings for over two years now and it’s slowly driving me insane._

_I don’t want to distance myself from her, as she’s my best friend and I don’t want to hurt her. But I also don’t want to put her on the spot by telling her how I feel._

_Last week we went to a concert together and before I could stop myself I confessed to her!_

_And I was so terrified of telling her, that I ended up saying ‘I think I’m in love with you’._

_Think?! As if I’m not completely, madly in love for years! _

_I don’t know why I said that, but I think I was trying to make it less intense somehow, or maybe I am just scared of telling her the depth of my feelings._

_The worst?_

_She didn’t even listen to me._

_The music was too loud and when she asked me to repeat it, I just pretended I never said it._

_I care too much about her and our friendship is very special to me._

_I'm trying really hard not to lose her, but I feel like I'm losing my sanity in the process._

_Now that you felt my desperation, I ask you, should I gather my courage and finally confess to my best friend?_

_Lovesick and desperate,_

_Green Crocodile.’_

_“Well, that was a roller coaster ride, wasn’t it? Green crocodile if you’re listening right now, I want to tell you to go for it!_

_You said you’re childhood friends, so I think you should give your friend the benefit of the doubt._

_If she doesn’t correspond to your feelings, that’s okay, at least you’ve tried. Do you want to spend the rest of your life not knowing what she could’ve said if you just had the guts to talk to her?_

_If she’s your best friend, you won’t lose her!_  
  
_I say take my advice and talk to her, friend to friend, make it clear you respect her feelings no matter what they may be._

_And please feel free to write again telling us how it went! I’m sure everyone listening is curious to know, at least I know I am!_

_For a song, Green Crocodile has requested a beautiful one! This is Kim Hyun Sik’s You Are Always By My Side._

  
♪

_When the cloud is covering the distant sun_  
_And you’re all alone_  
_Tell me_  
_I will console you_

_When the sun sets and the night comes_  
_And you’re all alone at night_  
_Tell me_  
_I will be your friend_

♪

Minnie’s sure something was wrong with her.

She had been feeling weird around Miyeon since last Saturday and wasn’t exactly sure why. Memories of that night clouded by the large amount of alcohol she consumed. In some of her recollections, she reminisces Miyeon’s pink cheeks, awkward smiles, and her anxious, shaky eyes towards her.

Something about the way Minnie’s stomach twirled that night, or maybe was the sheer effect of the strong drinks she had, made her well aware of how often Miyeon made her feel certain ways.

Sometimes a fuzzy, homey feeling, that she only ever felt when her friend was around. Like the satisfaction of a scorching hot tea on a cold winter night, or the comfort of your bed after a long, tiring day of wishing to be home. 

Miyeon also made her feel flustered and giddy sometimes. 

Normally it would be with simple actions, like placing Minnie’s chopsticks and spoon on the table before her own or always knowing what to say to make her feel better when she was upset. 

But lately, there’s been a new way in which Miyeon had been affecting her, one where Minnie could feel her heterosexuality slowly crumbling away.

She was starting to feel very attacked by Miyeon’s dazzling beauty. 

And fine, maybe she did always find Miyeon to be super pretty, and appreciating beauty wasn’t exactly gay, but the heart palpitations and butterflies she’s been feeling weren’t exactly super straight either.

Acknowledging someone to be good looking and feeling attraction towards them were two different things and Minnie wasn’t naive enough to pretend she didn’t know the difference. 

Was she always attracted to Miyeon?

Minnie doesn’t think so. 

Perhaps it was the fact that Miyeon was never around these days that made Minnie’s heartbeat faster every time she saw her.

Whatever it was, she needed to figure it out. Quickly.

The conversation she had with Soojin earlier did nothing to help her.

~~

  
_“Jinnie, can I ask you something?”_

_“Yes, Minnie?” Soojin looked at her friend expectantly, settling down the book she was reading._

_Midterms were just around the corner and Minnie and Soojin were currently in the library. They’ve been studying for the last few hours, but Minnie wasn’t quite focused as her troubled mind wandered around._

_The table they’re sitting on was a little far from others, so they were able to talk, minding the volume of their voices, without much worry._

_“You only dated guys before Shuhua, right?” Minnie's hands fidgeted nervously under the table, away from Soojin dark knowing eyes._

_Soojin was someone Minnie could never hide anything from, even if Miyeon was her closest friend, Soojin was the one that was able to disarm her with one single look._

_“Yes, she is the only woman I’ve ever been if, if that’s what you’re wondering” Soojin squinted her eyes a little, not able to see where this was going. “Why you ask?”_

_“I was wondering how different it is, you know?” Minnie's voice wavered and her eyes shied from Soojin’s, not brave enough to fully commit to the conversation. “You have also known her since… well, forever”._

_“Do you want to know how different it is from a guy or how different it is because I’ve known Shuhua since kindergarten?” Soojin smiled, taking her reading glasses and placing them on top of her textbook,_ _not needing them to read the girl in front of her._

_She was slowly putting the pieces together, she was a psychology major after all._

_Minnie’s reply would be impossible to hear in a noisy environment, but since it was the library and this was Soojin, who was probably the best listener in the entire world, she was heard._

_“Both…”_

_Soojin hummed in understanding, not looking curious at all as to why these sudden questions were being asked._

_“Well, men are naturally rougher, both emotionally and physically, I don’t entirely dislike that, I do still consider myself to be attracted to man, even if I don’t plan on dating them anymore” Soojin’s voice didn’t show an ounce of judgment or suspicion towards her and this was the main reason Minnie came to Soojin to have this conversation of all her friends. “Woman are more open to emotional connection in general and are very soft feeling”_

_“…hm okay”_

_“And I think dating a friend is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had” Soojin's smile was so genuine and comforting, truly annihilating any doubts anyone could ever have about her happiness with Shuhua. “Shuhua knows everything about me and I know everything about her, yet we found out new things about each other all the time”_

_“How come?” Minnie leans towards Soojin as if the girl was hypnotizing her with her words._

_“There are things you only find out about someone when you’re romantically involved with them”_

_“I’ve never thought about it this way” Minnie starts wondering how many things she doesn’t know about her best friend, things that other people, random people, knew. A feeling of discomfort took over Minnie’s heart, distracting her from the conversation._

_“I think love is way more intense too” Soojin snapped Minnie back from her trance. “Since I already loved Shuhua as a friend, the love I feel for her now, as a partner— is indescribable”_

_“Did you… happened to love any of your ex-boyfriends?” Minnie’s heart remained in a tight grip, foreign thoughts fogging her mind._

_“Every single one of them,” Soojin nodded nonchalantly “but love is different every time, I don’t date anyone unless I like them”_

_“That’s weird” Minnie laid her head flat on the table, distressed._

_“What’s weird?”_

_“Love always kind of feels the same to me”_

_Soojin’s poker face didn’t reflect the intense thinking that was going on inside her head._

_Minnie was very sentimental since they were kids._

_She was the type to cry watching romantic movies, sniffling on Miyeon’s or Soojin’s shoulder, and to spend the whole afternoon playing sad tunes on her piano._

_Minnie was an intense, romantic person and Soojin always had it to herself Minnie was going to be the first of them to get married, not because she fell in love easily, but because of how badly she wanted to fall in love._

_“It’s weird because I know I loved all my old boyfriends, but it usually takes some time for these… feelings to develop.” Minnie could feel Soojin’s burning gaze on her, even if she didn’t have the guts to look back at her. “It takes at least a few weeks for me to fully commit to the feeling, you know?”_

_Soojin remained silent, but Minnie knew she was listening._

_“It’s just that— recently I’ve been feelings stuff… stuff that I don’t usually feel easily and it’s freaking me out”._

_“So what you’re saying is, you’ve only ever fallen in love with people you were dating and now you’re developing feelings for someone you’re not in a relationship with?”_

_“I guess?”_

_“So you’re in love, what’s the problem?” Soojin slid her glasses back on, indifferently flipping the pages of her textbook._

_“I didn't say I’m in love,” Minnie hissed loudly, earning a couple of shushes from other students in the library. “at least I don’t think I am”._

_Soojin’s cold stare visibly disarmed Minnie, the girl shrinking back into her chair._

_“Minnie, even though you’re not being entirely honest with me, I will be with you” the serious tone of Soojin’s voice cut right through Minnie’s heart, making it clear she couldn’t fool her. “I think that you’re afraid of fully committing to love, because you’re afraid of getting hurt, so you force yourself to like people you’re sure already like you back, even if you don’t feel anything for them at all”._

_“Wait a min—”_

_“I’m not done.” Soojin raised her hand, shutting Minnie up without much difficulty. “If you keep looking for love in other people, but not within yourself, you are never going to be able to experience true love”._

_Minnie didn’t know what to say._

_She wasn’t expecting Soojin to go full therapist mode on her. Everything she said was so spot-on, Minnie was a little scared._

_“I think you’d find letting your feelings blossom to be a very rewarding and valid experience” Soojin turned her attention back to her book and from this angle, Minnie couldn’t see the smirk on her face. “I always thought you and Miyeon would make a great couple”._

_“WHAT— HOW—?” Minnie’s blush escalated as quickly as the volume of her voice, and this time she would be kicked out of the library for sure._

~~

  
To be honest, how could she think Soojin wouldn't figure it out?

—

  
After last week’s confession fiasco, Miyeon decides to throw herself in her studies, taking part in multiple research projects, and helping around the labs. It helped her take her mind off Minnie-related subjects and it didn't hurt her grades.

Of course, it wasn’t easy to avoid her best friend and roommate, so Miyeon did the best she could to be busy, instead of just hiding from Minnie. 

She felt less guilty that way.

But Minnie had been acting a bit strange lately and it was making Miyeon feel uneasy. 

She was whiny, more than usual, as if she was going through puberty, and she kept side glaring at Miyeon whenever they were together.

It was not like Miyeon minded the whining, she always thought Minnie was extra cute when she sulked anyway, but all the staring always made her nervous.

Having told Minnie her feelings, even though she wasn’t heard, felt liberating.

The adrenaline she experienced that moment was terrifying but made her wonder if telling would be as bad as she always thought it would.

Miyeon wished for a sign, something that pushed her to take action on her feelings and she swore to herself she would, if a perfect moment came, tell Minnie how she felt.

But not today.

Today she promised she would pick up Minnie and Soyeon, so they could have tteokbokki with the girls after class.

Warning her senior Jisoo that she couldn’t help around the lab today, Miyeon rushed to the parking lot, already running late. Her beat-up red Hyundai Pony was cold after a whole morning and afternoon absorbing the weather on the open parking lot and although her father constantly told her to fix her heater, she never remembers until she’s already shivering on the driver's seat.

The loud noise of her engine was probably a sign that a visit to a mechanic could do more than just fix her heater.

The way to the building where Minnie and Soyeon had most of their classes was not more than a 7 minutes drive, even if they studied in the same university, the departments and buildings were so far apart, it could be hard to get anywhere by walking in the current weather. 

Pulling the car’s noisy handbrake when she parked, probably another part of her car that would benefit from a visit to the mechanic, Miyeon reached to the back seat to grab her green bennie, any extra layering of clothing welcome to shield her from the cold.

A freezing breeze hit her as soon as she stepped out of the car and Miyeon wandered around, eyes trying to locate her friends amid tons of students.

How great it would be if everyone had a portable telephone or an instant letter sending and receiving machine, can you imagine? They were talking about a “mobile phone” on TV these days, but how any broke college student ever be able to afford that?

Eventually, she spotted Minnie in between what it looked like at least 5 men and in any other situation, Miyeon wouldn’t think much about it, probably her classmates or friends, but Minnie’s face showed nothing but discomfort and Soyeon was nowhere around her, probably held back by some errand.

Now Miyeon wasn't in any way intimidating, but Minnie’s face looked so panicked when one of the boys towered dangerously close to her that it made Miyeon march towards her friend, probably looking somehow scary, because people started to clear the path for her as she stomped forward. The way no one around seemed to care with a pack of grown men harassing her friend, made Miyeon think this wasn’t such an uncommon situation around here.

Minnie didn’t notice her friend's arrival, surrounded by unwanted company, and neither did them. 

“So now you’re alone you’re not brave enough to talk back to me?” Was the only thing Miyeon heard before she bumped harshly into whoever was in front of her, grabbing Minnie’s arm and pulling her towards her.

“What the fuck do you think you doing, you piece of shit?!” Miyeon words were covered with venom and if she wasn’t so high on anger, she might’ve noticed she didn’t sound like herself at all. Minnie looked surprised, but noticeable relaxed with her friend’s presence.

“Oh, look who’s here! We were just talking about you” The boy’s smile was disgustingly sweet as if he wasn’t just harassing Minnie 30 seconds ago.

“What’s going on?” Miyeon heard Soyeon’s worried voice from behind, not deviating her eyes from the unknown guy’s idiotic smirk. Letting Minnie’s arm go, trusting in Soyeon’s presence, Miyeon stepped closer to him, not shying from his challenging eyes. 

“Are you so incredibly insecure about your masculinity that you have to gather all your pathetic little friends to harass one single girl?”

“What?” His laugh was loud and extremely annoying in Miyeon’s ears. “I’m not harassing anyone, we’re just talking, right Minnie?”. 

Before Minnie or Soyeon, who looked like she could spitfire with how angry she looked, could answer him, Miyeon didn’t think twice before landing a powerful stomp on the edge of his right foot.

“WHAT THE FUCK? YOU BITCH” he yelled in clear pain with tears threatening to come out of his eyes, his friends hissing as if reliving Miyeon’s stomp. “YOU STEPPED YOU MY FOOT”

“Stepped? I didn’t step on anyone, I was just walking and you were on my way,” Miyeon mirrored the tone of his voice before, innocence all over her face, as if she didn’t just break his toes. “but if I see you ‘talking’ to my friend again I swear I’m going to ruin your fucking life”.

“You bitches are crazy!” He yelled, jumping away on one foot, his friends following through like a pack of hyenas.

Miyeon wasn’t completely back into her senses until she heard Soyeon laugh by her side.

“Oh my god, Miyeon” the smaller of them cackled, the tension of the situation slowly starting to fade. “I can’t believe you did that”.

Just then she looked at Minnie, the girl smiling as they locked eyes, and in this huge pink sweater she had on, Miyeon swore they were back in middle school when Minnie was still smaller than her and liked to steal her brother’s clothes, always looking extra tiny and cute in their oversized clothing. She couldn’t help but smile back at the girl she loved, any remnant of anger on her mind replaced with sheer adoration for her friend’s adorable smile.

“Will you both stop making out so we can go meet the rest of the girls already? I’m starving!” 

Fucking Jeon Soyeon.

  
—

  
After Soyeon told everyone, in detail, how Miyeon broke Seungri’s toes, Minnie had identified him to Miyeon afterward, and Minnie told them the reason behind his immature behavior, they placed their order at the tteokbokki place, sitting as they waited. It was a small restaurant that served mostly tteokbokki and ramyeon, but was cheap and tasty enough to be a viable option for them.

The restaurant lady approached the table with the large plate they ordered to share and Miyeon inattentively grabbed a pair of the metal chopsticks, placing them on front of Minnie, only after grabbing a pair of her own. 

Everyone began eating hurriedly, craving for some spicy food to warm them in this cold weather. Miyeon carelessly looked around, waiting for Yuqi and Shuhua chopstick war to come to an end so she could eat in peace, when she realized Soojin eyes were almost boring holes into her skull with how intensely she was staring at her.

Not wanting to attract any attention of her other friends, Miyeon only mouthed a ‘ _what_ ’ to her, to which she responded with a knowing smile that only served to confuse Miyeon more.

Miyeon didn’t question her again, but she definitely should try asking again later.

  
—

  
If Minnie was wondering how gay was it to feel butterflies for her best friend before, now there were new reasons for her to question, like why Miyeon kept showing up in her thoughts 24/7.

But really, how could she not think about the woman? 

Not only was her friend unfairly beautiful, but she was also amazingly caring.

After the incident with Seungri, Miyeon began to show up every single day to pick her up after class, even though Minnie guaranteed her he doesn’t even come close to her these days. 

Nothing like that had ever happened to Minnie before, so when Seungri and his friends approached her while she waited for Soyeon to finish talking to their teacher, she was terrified.   
At that moment it didn’t occur she could’ve got away from them or talk back, the way they were towering over her intimidating and incapacitating her. 

She doesn’t know what they wanted to do to her, but she’s glad she didn’t find out.

Miyeon showed up truly out of nowhere and in all the years of their friendship, Minnie had never seen Miyeon that way. What Soojin told her before really made sense, even if they’ve known each other forever, there were many things she didn’t know about the woman, this side of her being one of them. 

Needless to say, Minnie was very thankful to her. 

What she wasn’t thankful for, was the unusual way her heart was behaving around Miyeon.

The things that Soojin told her proving themselves to be the absolute truth.

Maybe she was a little afraid of getting hurt, but who wasn’t?

Being with someone who likes you for sure is so safe and if you can make yourself develop feelings for them it’s even better.

So what if Minnie wants to avoid heartbreak?

Liking someone of the same gender did nothing to scare her, not like not being corresponded did.

But this was Miyeon, her Miyeon, the star of her most cherished childhood memories.

Minnie still remembers when she twisted an ankle in elementary school and Miyeon carried her home on her back, not complaining once about it during the 10 min walk, and how Miyeon always offered Minnie her jacket whenever it was chilly, even when she didn’t have an extra one and was the most cold sensitive person Minnie knew.

They used to fight a lot as well, stupid little bickerings that were mostly harmless but kept them on their toes.

She couldn’t help but wonder, how amazing it would be to have a partner like Miyeon and that thought did nothing to ease her troubled heart.

But after all, if she was going to fall in love and not be corresponded, she was glad it was Miyeon, who she trusted completely to always be by her side no matter what.

♪

  
_The world is a cold, desolate place_  
_And at times, you need a friend_

_Even if you are far away_  
_Wherever you are, I’ll be there for you_  
_I will always run to you_

  
♪

  
“Are you sure no one will find us here?” Miyeon asked after getting on the soccer field. 

Yuqi rarely has good ideas, this one probably wasn’t going to be one of them.

Yuqi had this brilliant plan, that if they got out through the university’s soccer field, they could sneak out after curfew without getting caught. Probably it was not the safest for 6 girls to wander at night in the empty campus, but Soyeon got these excellent tickets for a midnight screening of A Better Tomorrow 2 and even with Soojin’s and Miyeon’s protests, they decided to go.

Dorms curfew were only applied on weekdays and were set to 11 pm, so after that time, the security guards ran rounds looking for possible runaways. 

By going out through a hole on the field’s fence, Yuqi guaranteed they wouldn’t get caught since most guards would be around the main exits.

“One hundred percent sure” Yuqi emphasized by showing 2 thumb ups and a confident smile that could barely be seen in the dim lighting. Needless to say, all of them were surprised when Yuqi’s face was suddenly well lit by the round light of a flashlight.

That could only mean…

“Hey! Stop right there!” The loud voice of a security guard broke Yuqi’s smile, bringing sheer panic to the girl’s features.

“Fuck, run!” Yuqi yelled grabbing Soyeon’s arm, taking advantage of the girl’s small size to push her through the fence hole, jumping into it after.

Soojin and Shuhua ran to the other side, not wanting to risk making out of there before the security arrived.

Miyeon froze, never great to rationalize under pressure, thoughts of what she could tell her dad when the dorm supervisor called him already coming to mind.

“Miyeon, c’mon!” Minnie’s loud voice and strong pull broke her off her trance and Miyeon was dragged out of the field. The guard yells could still be heard from behind them, but Miyeon tried to focus on following Minnie’s lead instead of his fading voice.   
  
New splashes of light appeared, indicating there were now multiple guards after them and Minnie had the split mind decision of pulling Miyeon into a tight alleyway, probably too tight even for one person to enter alone. 

With their fronts closely pressed against each other and their hearts beating at a blistering pace, they looked down, as if not looking in the direction of the guards would somehow make them invisible.

The hurried voices of the guards hushed past them and Miyeon let out a breath she didn’t even feel she was holding.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, without speaking or even thinking really, as the adrenaline washed out of their bodies.

“That was close” Miyeon was the first to break the silence, looking at Minnie for the first time, gulping down whatever she was planning to say next, fully coming to her senses and realizing the position she was in. 

The fact that Minnie was staring right back at her wasn’t helping either.

In this position was easy to notice how Minnie had grown slightly taller than her in the last few years and how her bangs were now longer, almost covering her eyes at this point. The heavy breathing they shared only making it more difficult to ignore how close together they were, breasts clashing together with every other heave of their chest.

Miyeon couldn’t move her eyes from Minnie’s ones, as they seemed to hypnotize her, the coldness of the night barely noticeable as they shared body heat.

The warm yellow light from the street poles made Minnie’s irises shine a warm shade of brown and Miyeon could swear she was hallucinating as Minnie’s pupils lowered and nearly doubled in size when she nervously ran her tongue across her lower lip.

Was this the sign she had asked for? She didn’t expect it to come this quickly!

“What are you doing?” Minnie’s voice was unusually low and Miyeon hadn’t realized until then that she was leaning dangerously close to her, noses almost touching. Like a switch, Miyeon panic woke her of whatever trance she was in.

“Shit, I’m SO so sorry Minnie I’m—ouch fuck!” Miyeon jerked away, forgetting there wasn’t enough space between them, crashing the back of her head on the wall behind her.

Minnie didn’t look disgusted or weirded out and Miyeon couldn’t quite decipher what the woman’s blown out pupils meant, but right now she couldn’t think straight. 

“Miyeon, let’s go back to the dorm” Whatever Minnie was feeling right now, wasn’t hinted at all by the tone of her voice as she squeezed her way out of the alleyway, offering Miyeon her hand as she did so, pulling her friend out of the narrow space.

Miyeon couldn’t help but notice the tighter grip of Minnie’s hand on her and her fast-paced walk, almost urgent, towards their shared dorm room.

She fucked up, didn’t she?

  
—

  
“Minnie, look—” Miyeon started, as Minnie closed the door of their room behind them.

“Yeonnie, I need you to shut up right now” Minnie's voice was nothing Miyeon ever heard before and she started to feel a bit dizzy. “I have to test something out, do you promise you’ll forgive me and won’t hate me after it?”

“Of course—Minnie, I could never hate you” Miyeon blinked confused, running her hands through her hair not knowing what else to do to calm the frenzy currently happening in her mind.

“Okay, you promised”

Before Miyeon could reply, Minnie’s strong hands pulled the collar of her jeans jacket, harshly bringing their lips together.

_What the actual FUCK?_

Miyeon fantasized about kissing Minnie a million times and ways, this definitely wasn't one of them.

Not with Minnie's hungry lips over hers, fingers grabbing on her jacket as if she depended on it.

Her chest was burning, her legs felt like jelly and if it weren’t for Minnie’s hands pulling her closer, she would be on the floor right now. Miyeon could hardly think or feel anything, Minnie’s urgent lips being the only thing on her mind.

“Woah…” Minnie pulled out first, cheeks bright red and uneven breathing. Poor Miyeon didn’t even have time to process anything that happened, couldn’t ever properly kiss her back and it was over. “Not straight at all”.

Now Miyeon could be a very delusional and slow-minded person, but if something, anything, was a sign, this had to be it. 

“Sorry, I know this was sudd—” Minnie started, when she finally realized Miyeon had been frozen this entire time, her sentence interrupted with a yelp, as Miyeon pushed her harshly against the door. 

“You don’t get to use me as a freaking heterosexuality test” Miyeon’s voice came out dark as her eyes and Minnie felt goosebumps take over her body, not sure if out of fear or just plainly turned on. “Not when I’m trying so hard to be respectful towards you”.

“I’m sorry—” 

Miyeon interrupted Minnie for the second time in a row, completely inebriated by the odds of this situation. If Minnie was carefree enough to kiss her as she pleased, why shouldn’t she be? 

That’s probably how her mind would rationalize it if she weren’t on full autopilot mode.

Before Minnie could try to say something again, Miyeon pressed her lips against hers the second time today, this time, how she wanted it to be. 

Completely contrasting her previous door thrusting move, Miyeon’s lips were nothing but soft and gentle against Minnie’s, passionately running her finger through the other girl’s black hair as if wanting to convey all of her pent up feelings up to this moment. Even if softly, the touch of their lips together was electrifying and their bodies seemed to come together like magnets, unable to keep a distance between them.

Since Minnie didn’t seem to be against it, pulling Miyeon even closer by her waist, Miyeon lightly scratched on her scalp as if trying to ask her permission to intensify the kiss, Minnie somehow understood and readily opened her lips to welcome Miyeon’s wandering tongue. 

At this point, if Minnie still had any doubt about her sexuality, they were decimated by the effect of that one simple scratch Miyeon gave on the back of her head. This was probably the most turned-on Minnie has ever felt in her life and if the breathy moan that escaped her mouth at that moment wasn’t enough to prove it, the uncomfortable feeling below her stomach certainly was.

But Miyeon’s kiss wasn’t as abrupt and harsh as the one she initiated before. It was slow and intense. Minnie could now fully understand what Soojin meant by the difference between men and women. Perhaps Minnie kissed Miyeon the only way she knew how, boys never kissed her like this, always with harsh impacts and grabby hands, never with such care and passionate rhythm as Miyeon. 

Maybe she should thank Soojin later.

Miyeon heart was beating so fast and aggressively, her rib cage was starting to hurt, and if she was going to fully commit to it, it had to be now.

“I said I think I’m in love with you” Miyeon eyes didn’t care to open when she pulled away from Minnie, too scared to face her.

“What?” Minnie back still rested against the door, chest heaving and glossy eyes blinking open in confusion.

“That’s what I said last week, on the musician’s festival” her eyes opened slowly, meeting Minnie’s confused ones. “Towards the end, when that song you like was playing”

“A little girl?” Minnie didn’t want to smile because Miyeon might think she was making fun of her, but she was just so incredibly flustered for someone who just crashed her against the door and kissed the life out of her.

“Yes! Yes, that one” Miyeon was starting to get annoyed for some reason, maybe because of her incapacity of saying things straight instead of taking the longer route, and it was showing in her voice. “I said something to you back then and you couldn’t listen because the music was loud” 

“You said you loved the song”

“No! See, I said I’m in love with you, but you didn’t listen, so I chickened out an—” 

“Yeonnie” Minnie couldn’t help her smile now as she held onto Miyeon’s hand and intertwined their fingers, stopping her. “You’re rambling”

“Sorry” she took a deep breath, adrenaline still pumping into her veins. “I just… can’t believe you kissed me”

“I didn’t kiss you to test my heterosexuality Miyeon” Minnie rubbed her thumb over the top of Miyeon’s hand, looking at their intertwined hands with a smile. “I kissed you because I think I’m falling for you too, It’s that okay?”

_“What?!”_

—

  
_“That was Kim Hyun Sik’s You Are Always By My Side requested by today’s correspondent Green Crocodile who wants their loved one to know, wherever you are, however you may feel, if you need me, I’ll be your friend.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> If you read until here, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I'll come back later with another chapter. Meanwhile, I hope you're well and safe!


	3. The Meaning Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Like the other one, this is Un-Beta'd, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> (English is not my first language, I'm just a fellow neverland/mimin shipper wanting to contribute to the fandom)
> 
> If you're interested, the song mentioned in this chapter is The Meaning of You by Sanulrim (often romanized as Sanullim ).

_“Hello Mr. Cho, is Miyeon home?” That is what Minnie would say every time she got in Cho’s Antique Shop looking for Miyeon, even when she knew the girl was indeed home._

_“She’s in her room, come—” Is what Mr. Cho would answer, or at least try to, whenever Minnie entered the store enthusiastically, the little bell above the door ringing loudly to announce her cheerful presence._

_“Thanks!” Is what Minnie would respond, not able to listen to Mr. Cho’s full response as she excitedly opened the door that separated the store from their house._

_“Cho Miyeon!” That is what Miyeon would hear before Minnie jumped on her, interrupting whatever she was doing. “What you’re doing?”_

_And usually, no matter what her answer was, Minnie ended up making her company, indulging in whatever activity Miyeon was up to._

_It had been like that throughout their entire childhood and adolescence._

_The only day Miyeon’s dad remembers it being different, was the day after his wife's funeral service._

_Even after being told to not open the store, he decided to do it anyway as it was his way of distracting himself._

_The store had been quiet all day, the only people coming being neighbors that brought him fruits and offered him their condolences. He almost didn’t recognize the ringing bell when Minnie got in later that day, the bell uncharacteristically quiet to what Minnie’s usual entrances were like._

_She didn’t speak anything as she got in, nor she smiled brightly at him like she usually did. Their eyes met for a brief second and she bowed politely at him. Although she didn’t say anything, he could see the genuine sorrow in her eyes and he didn’t need her to say anything else for him to understand her feelings._

_“Minnie, could you help Miyeon, please? I don’t know what to do,” he had pleaded to her that day, teary eyes and voice wavering as he felt sorry for his daughter, guilty for being the one that made out alive from the car accident that took his wife life. Comforting Miyeon was never something he learned how to do, his wife always being the one who did so, aware he wasn’t very skilled at demonstrations of affection. “I’ll be forever grateful to you”_

_Minnie could see this big man, the man she once feared in her childhood for being so serious, so close to tears, hurting for his daughter, and missing his wife. She took the liberty to turn the store sign to closed and walked towards him, holding his hand tightly before she spoke those words that would still be engraved in his mind years from now._

_“Miyeon doesn’t hate you for surviving, remember you are her everything now.”_

_Minnie bowed to him one more time before excusing herself and, one more time, opening the door at the back of the store._

_Mr. Cho never found out what Minnie did that night that made his daughter brighter the following days, and Miyeon never learned how Minnie helped her dad cry for the first time in a long time, tears washing years of repressed pain away._

  
_~~_

  
If Minnie had to explain the development of her feelings for Miyeon, she would probably mention a few separate events and how the different emotions she felt then served as a turning point.

What started it all was jealousy.

The agony she felt for some reason when Soojin revealed about Shuhua's juvenile crush on Miyeon, or the memory of Seungri’s friend's perverted comments about her. Minnie’s drunk mind came into realization about how much she selfishly benefits from Miyeon almost permanent single status.

It’s been at least one year and a half since Miyeon had dated, but Minnie remembers feeling weird when she did, she knew she was jealous of Miyeon deviating attention from her and that it wasn’t exactly fair. 

Imagining Miyeon with someone else made her feel somewhat territorial. Like she wanted the woman all to herself.

Then there was that comforting feeling of safety, like when Miyeon held her in the concert after someone pushed her or when she didn’t fear confronting Seungri, who was almost twice her size. 

Miyeon had always made her feel safe, even though she was smaller and slower than Minnie.

Something about that day at the festival was different, Minnie felt embraced by a lover, not a friend. Maybe it was from the mellow music playing in the background, the way that Miyeon smiled while she sang along or how she protectively tightened her hold on Minnie every time someone jumped or danced dangerously close to them.

Miyeon exuded this calm, protective energy that always toned down Minnie’s all over the place and sensitive one.

Minnie felt like Miyeon brought out the best in her.

Lastly, there was the desire she experienced when Miyeon leaned towards her while they were hiding from the campus guards. 

She looked so unbelievably gorgeous under the yellow street lighting, so flustered from all the running, that she didn’t even realize Minnie had been staring at her the entire time. From the moment Miyeon looked back at her, all she could think about was kissing her.  
  
Minnie concluded this attraction was unavoidable, her whole body on fire by the proximity they shared, adrenaline-pumping into her veins as she dragged Miyeon back to their dorm room and kissed her, ending all remaining doubts about her feelings.

Miyeon had kissed her with care, pouring all of her affection towards her into the kiss. She didn’t rushed through it, nor did she force her hands onto Minnie’s body, and seemed to take genuine pleasure in making Minnie feel good. 

Miyeon’s kiss made her feel like she was 16 again and was being kissed for the first time. Every touch was overwhelming and exciting, she didn’t want it to end.

Then Miyeon said she was in love with her.

And that… made sense.

All the nervous eyes, blushing cheeks, and avoidance to talk about anything relationship related could be easily explained under this new light. She should’ve known.

Minnie felt giddy and happy inside, but at the same time, she worried that she could’ve hurt her friend unknowingly.

They didn’t kiss again that night, still digesting everything said and done. Minnie had the initiative of saying they should talk about it, realizing Miyeon was currently in a semi-permanent state of shock.

She would have many things to discuss with Soojin after today.

  
—

  
_“I kissed you because I think I am falling for you too, It’s that okay?”_

_“What?!”_

  
Not in a million years would Miyeon imagine Minnie would kiss her first.

Or perhaps be in love with her, that did not make sense.

Now that she finally confessed to her friend, after two years of hiding it, Minnie magically likes her too? Maybe she was just skeptical, but when they sat down to talk, the only thing Miyeon could process to say was:

“I don’t think we should rush this”

“What?” They were sitting on the floor, their backs resting against the bed after Minnie's suggestion to talk. Minnie was confused, having learned about Miyeon's feelings for her and urged to know more about it, but Miyeon looked so panicked right now, Minnie just decided to wait. 

“I don’t want you to regret it.” 

Miyeon could barely be heard, looking small as she hugged her knees and looked down at her feet. Minnie could sense the fear and the hesitation in her voice, and for someone who was constantly scared of getting hurt, she felt unusually calm.

“I’m offended that you didn’t trust me with your feelings before Yeonnie.” Minnie bumped shoulders with Miyeon, not wanting to prolong this weird atmosphere, they weren’t strangers after all. “If that is what you think is best, I’m okay with it.”

Miyeon relaxed a bit, still finding it hard to believe this was happening.

“Thanks, Min” Miyeon laid her head on Minnie’s shoulder looking for the friend’s comfort, even though she was the entire reason she needed it in the first place. “How come you like me? I thought you were straight”

“I’m not sure,” Minnie lightly rested her head against Miyeon’s, not wanting to scare her away “The thought of you being with someone else always made me kind of uncomfortable, these days I kept thinking about it and I realized what I feel for you goes beyond our friendship”

Miyeon hummed, not sure what to add, still scared and not entirely convinced, the years of negativity trying to sabotage this moment for her. 

“I thought I wasn’t your type” Miyeon softly added, a ghost of a smile on her lips. 

“I knew you were still mad about this!” Minnie's whine made Miyeon laugh and she finally began to relax. Minnie smiled listening to her, the smell of Miyeon’s lavender perfume filling her senses as she clung closer.

“You could’ve told me, you know” Minnie didn’t sound upset nor judgmental, all she wanted was for Miyeon to trust her.

“It’s just— you’re dating at the time and I’d never want to put you on the spot like that,” Miyeon seemed less nervous now, not shying from Minnie’s proximity or her curious eyes. “you were also, you know, straight”

“Woah, It’s been a while since I dated anyone, I guess you liked me for quite some time, huh?” 

“Can we not talk about this with the girls?” Miyeon ignored Minnie’s comment, changing the subject. “At least not now, you know how they can be”

“Sure” Minnie shrugged, she wanted to thank Soojin for her advice, but it could wait. “When you say we shouldn’t rush it, what do you mean?” 

“Not sure” Miyeon yawned, her eyes beginning to close as her mind began to slow down. “We should talk more about it tomorrow, I’m tired ”

“Hm— Okay”

They stayed like this for some time. Minnie’s heart jumping with excitement and cheeks hurting from smiling, while Miyeon drifted off on her shoulder. 

In every way her body was letting her know that this was happening, she was in love. All she wanted was to hold Miyeon, to kiss and be with her, but Miyeon had already signed off for the day and Minnie knew it was already way past her bedtime. 

Were stuff like this that made her realize how different she and Miyeon could be.

Minnie was someone who was easily wavered by her feelings and constantly rushed into decisions, while Miyeon was mostly rational and careful.

It was not a bad thing, being either one of those two, if anything Minnie and Miyeon balanced each other well. Miyeon brought some stability to Minnie’s hectic feelings and Minnie forced Miyeon to get out of her head and live in the moment.

Minnie doesn’t remember feeling this excited simply from liking someone, maybe with her first real boyfriend, but the circumstances were completely different then.

She had met him in her piano class, that one boy who was just so talented and good looking, she instantly fell for him. She thought he looked like Leslie Cheung, her favorite actor and the male lead of all her romantic fantasies, which was probably the reason she fell for him in the first place.

Somehow she felt like he liked her too.

One day, he offered to help her on a piece they were working on in their class, in normal circumstances Minnie could probably play it with her eyes closed, but she got nervous around him and kept making silly mistakes. They ended up not practicing at all, kissing in her room the second Minnie closed the door. 

Miyeon walked in on them at some point, trying to return whatever thing she had borrowed from Minnie earlier, but before Minnie could say anything she was gone and Minnie couldn’t reach her for the rest of that day.

Just like that, her first relationship began and she was crazy about him. 

Soyeon and Soojin constantly warned her that he didn’t care about her the same way she did, but she didn’t realize it at the time. It lasted 4 months and Minnie thought they were made for each other, then just before graduation he called her and told her it wasn’t working for him anymore. 

Later, Minnie found out he had been seeing multiple girls while they were together and that broke her.

It was her first-ever heartbreak and probably the reason she was so afraid of falling in love.

Minnie wasn’t able to see his indifference towards her, betrayed by her own lovesick eyes, that not even her friends’ warnings were able to wake her up. 

But she trusted Miyeon, knew she would never purposely hurt her.

Miyeon was someone she could be herself with, knew she would never judge her.

Minnie could only hope Miyeon didn’t want to take things too slowly.

  
—

  
When Miyeon woke up the next day she was on her bed somehow, she doesn’t remember going up at any point. Thinking she was already late for class, Miyeon yawned and tried to stretch her limbs, only then becoming aware of the body weight over her right arm. Feeling someone firmly wrapped around her, she heard a drowsy voice close to her ear.

“Miyeonnie?”

Miyeon blinked her eyes to realize she wasn’t in her bed but squeezed between Minnie and the wall of the other’s bed.

She should’ve guessed that she wouldn’t be able to climb to her bed half asleep anyway. 

Miyeon didn’t even have the time to freak out about their closeness, or last night's events, as Minnie laid her head on Miyeon’s shoulder and tightened her hold on her. Not leaving any choice for Miyeon’s heart but to swell at the adorable sleepy noises the woman was making as she snuggled closer to her neck.

“It’s Saturday, we don’t have to get up yet.” Minnie said, lips barely moving against her neck, not fully awake just yet. Not able to think of anything to say, Miyeon’s body answered for her, her half numb arm wrapping around Minnie, who in response offered some more sleepy whining.

Miyeon, who had been worried sick about how their relationship would be moving forward, smiled realizing how at ease she felt with the other woman. She could try to create obstacles in her mind, but her body could never lie to her.

Usually being the one who overslept, Miyeon felt unable to go back to sleep and just kept on holding Minnie while she slept in her arms. Minnie was always extra clingy in her sleep.

It didn’t take long for Minnie to stir awake, looking up to find Miyeon’s eyes already on her.

“Hey” Minnie smiled, rubbing her eyes to wake herself up, distancing a little to be able to see her friend more clearly. 

“Hey” Miyeon smiled back, not able to shy away from Minnie’s adorable squinted eyes and sleepy pout. 

“Are we okay?” Minnie nervously asked, reaching for Miyeon’s hand, receiving a comforting squeeze in response.

“Always” Miyeon matched her answer with one little extra squeeze on Minnie’s hand. Even though she worried about the future, she wanted to be brave for Minnie.

Minnie didn’t want to pry, but Miyeon did say they should talk more about it today and she was so extremely curious, as her best friend and also as— whatever they were growing to be after yesterday’s mess.

There wasn’t going to be a better opportunity than this, with Miyeon cornered between her and the wall. She wanted to respect her friend’s space, but they wouldn’t be able to go any further without honesty.

“When did you start to like me?” Minnie went straight to the point and she could see from Miyeon’s wide panicked eyes she was insecure. “I won’t judge you, you know you can always tell me everything”

Miyeon wanted to be brave for Minnie, she promised to be, but old habits die hard and her mind went haywire trying to figure out what to say.

Minnie, always true to her feelings and never one to be patient quickly interrupted Miyeon’s nervous thoughts. She leaned in with no hesitation and softly brought their lips together, humming as Miyeon reached to caress her cheek.

“I don’t think you understood me Miyeon,” Minnie placed her hand over Miyeon’s one, staring into her half-lidded eyes as she spelled it out for her overanalytical friend. “I’m in love with you, I want to be with you, I want to be your girlfr—”

“High School!” Miyeon blunted out interrupting Minnie.

“What?”

“It was senior year, Novem— no, it was December” Miyeon rambled, rushing into her words, worrying that she won’t be brave enough to tell if she stops to thinks about it too much. “I asked you for your English notes, you know I was never good with English, you told me to stop by after your piano class and you would help me study and then—”

“I was with Haein then, I remember” Minnie could hear Miyeon’s heavy breathing as she nervously rambled. “But that was like—”

“2 years and 11 months ago” Miyeon blurted out, sounding more pathetic than she feared she would. Her wavering voice and loud breathing didn’t help, her heart beating unusually loud. She was pretty sure Minnie was able to hear it at this point.

“Miyeon…” Minnie was at a loss for words and that was what Miyeon feared the most. She kept it in for so long, that her feelings became this gigantic bomb, no matter how she put it was going to be overwhelming. 

Minnie’s voice wavered, and knowing her, Miyeon was sure she was about to cry.

“I forgot I promised to help you study, I’m so sorry” Minnie launched forward, almost crushing Miyeon with her hug, and Miyeon nearly laughed, amused that Minnie brought this up of all things.

Miyeon hugged her back regardless, feeling Minnie's tears wetting her neck. 

“Why are you crying, silly?” Miyeon asked as she ran her hand through Minnie’s hair, unable to keep feeling sorry for herself with Minnie sobbing in her arms, so tightly wrapped around her.

“Because I made you go through all that, how could you even like me for so long?” Minnie sniffled on Miyeon’s shirt, leaning back to look at her, nose running and puffy eyes.

“That I don’t know” Miyeon smiled, pulling the long sleeve of her shirt with her fingers to dry Minnie’s cheeks, tapping lightly on her pouted lips. “Don’t flatter yourself though, I’m pretty sure I just have bad taste”

Minnie’s low, watery chuckle, came before the weak push on Miyeon’s shoulder and the warm, salty kiss on her lips.

Just like that, Miyeon felt like she could fully let go of all the guilt and shame she felt until now.

She should be grateful for the woman’s opposite personality, her incapacity of hiding her feelings, and her impulsive behavior, if not, she would most likely never be able to kiss her like this.

Miyeon wanted nothing else than to enjoy, for the first time, having feelings for Minnie.

_~~_

_The day right after the funeral was the worst for Miyeon by far._

_They got to leave the funeral house and come back to an empty and silent home. One that didn’t smell like her mother’s homemade cooking anymore, didn’t feel warm as it lacked her bright energy and loving presence. Her father was doing the best he could, but Miyeon understood him, her mother used to say she was exactly like him. She never really saw their similarity, not until they were both in traditional mourning garments, on their knees in front of her mother’s picture. He had looked at her then, expressionless face mirroring her own, and couldn’t say a word. Neither could she._

_When she heard her door opening that night, she didn’t spare a look and only repeated the only thing she seemed to have said throughout this entire day._

_“I’m not hungry” Miyeon muttered from her sleeping mat, with her back turned from the door, waiting for his characteristical monosyllable response, but it never came._

_The door squeaked again, this time closing, and Miyeon turned around to see Minnie going through her drawers, grabbing a loose shirt and a pair of pajama pants._

_Not finding the will power to fight her, Miyeon let Minnie pull her to a standing position and followed her commands as she undressed her from yesterday’s clothes, wordless, freshly clean ones sliding on her body soon after. Not having exchanged any words until now, Minnie folded Miyeon’s dirty clothes and signed for her to sit, leaving the room._

_Miyeon obeyed, not able to think or protest in her current state. Minnie came back with a small table in her hands, placing it in front of Miyeon. On the small table, Miyeon recognized the reheated bowl of porridge that her dad tried to make her eat earlier._

_They sat like that, Minnie slowly feeding Miyeon spoon after spoon silently, her stomach finally easing the pain it was in after several hours without food or water._

_“You need to cry,” was the first thing Minnie said to her that night after she fed her the last spoon of porridge. “I know you don’t want your dad to see you cry, so let everything out now and be strong for him tomorrow”_

_Minnie moved the table to the corner of the room and waited for Miyeon’s response, it never came, so she grabbed Miyeon’s hand and intertwined their fingers._

_“Let it out, Miyeonnie” was the last thing Minnie said to her that night as she caressed the top of Miyeon’s hand with her thumb, watching how her friend started to sniffle and tremble, tears freely running down her cheeks._

_For that entire night, Miyeon’s pained sobs echoed inside the cramped room._

_Minnie patted her back as she cried, wishing she could ease her pain somehow, and stopped only when Miyeon fell asleep, eyes swollen and nose red, still grabbing onto Minnie’s hand as she drifted off._

_She was only 15 then and, thinking about it, maybe it was the first time she felt in her heart that she loved Minnie._

  
_~~_

  
When Miyeon said she wanted to take things slow she meant it. 

Minnie didn’t meet any opportunity to kiss her again all day, as much as she wanted to, Miyeon seemed extra cautious.

It became nearly impossible to resist when they were getting ready to go out and Miyeon tapped on her arm, staring at her with those puppy eyes, silently asking Minnie to tie her scarf for her. 

For some reason, even though Miyeon was usually the calm and seemingly mature one between the two of them, she constantly asked Minnie to help her with the stupidest things. Help her tie her shoes, help her button her coat, help her fix her hat. With time Minnie began to do it unwittingly, fixing her grown-up (and months older) friend like she was a kid.

“You’re such a baby, I swear” Minnie rolled her eyes, but helped her anyway, not failing to realize the shy smile on Miyeon’s lips as she moved on to fix the collar of her jacket and roll the oversized ends of her sleeves. “Let’s go now, adult baby”

The six friends decided to take their Saturday drinking outside and planned to meet at this tent bar just around campus, which probably made tons of money from the privileged location. They would normally go there whenever Minnie’s parents sent her extra money and made her pay the entire bill. 

It was no secret Minnie’s family was very wealthy, living in the biggest house in their neighborhood and owning several fabric stores on the city’s market. 

Soyeon also had a comfortable living situation but at the expense of rarely seeing her parents as they were both overworked and were never home. It didn’t compare to the Yontararak household, but they lived in a pretty spacious house.

Miyeon’s house was connected to her dad’s antique store, a small but comfy house. 

Similarly, Soojin lived alone with her mother, having struggled to secure a college scholarship so her mother could be at ease. 

Shuhua and Yuqi families had similar living situations, they didn’t struggle as Miyeon’s and Soojin’s, but weren’t as well off as Minnie’s and Soyeon’s. 

Nevertheless, being close as they were, there wasn’t any hesitation when they learned about Minnie’s allowance and they didn’t shy from the opportunity to order multiple things on the menu every time Minnie was paying.

“How’s rooming with Yuqi, Soyeon?” Miyeon asked after gulping down her soju glass. 

“It’s okay, she very loud though” 

“Tell me about it!” Miyeon replied, laughing at Yuqi’s exaggerated gasp. “Had she tried sneaking someone in yet?”

Miyeon’s question felt harmless, everyone there knew Yuqi had an active dating life and it was whatever really, it was not like they judged her for it.

So why was Yuqi kicking her leg from under the table?

“Yah! Why you’re kicking me Song Yuqi?” Miyeon looked at Yuqi only to see her former roommate desperately shaking her head with wide panicked eyes.

“No” Soyeon’s answer was dry, having ignored what Miyeon said about the kicking. “Not yet, at least.”

“Hey, I don’t do that anymore!” Yuqi’s voice was loud as always, attracting eyes from different tables. 

“Okay, okay— damn” Miyeon huffed, feeling Yuqi’s glare from the other side of the table. “Minnie, can you give a napkin?”

The Thai girl handed her the napkin mindlessly, her response almost automatic, still laughing at Yuqi's tantrum.

While she wiped her hands with the napkin, she kept feeling like she was being watched, so her first instinct was to look at Yuqi, who was mad at her for some reason, but she was cheerfully talking to Minnie about their holiday plans, and Soyeon and Shuhua were heatedly discussing what they should order next.

So it could only be…

When she locked eyes with Soojin, she could see her friend’s red-tinted lips turn into a smirk and she tilted her head towards the street. 

Miyeon knew what she meant by it and excused herself from the table, aware the girls wouldn’t mind, as they were also aware of what Soojin meant.

“Did you bring a lighter?” Soojin asked when they leaned against the street wall, pulling a red box from her coat pocket and offering Miyeon an unusually thin cigarette. Miyeon nodded waving her cheap looking lighter in front of Soojin’s face, accepting the delicate-looking stick, analyzing it closely before bringing to her mouth and lighting it. 

“What is this?” Miyeon asked as she blew the smoke out of her lungs, handing Soojin the lighter. 

“Shuhua said she won’t kiss me if I smoke regular cigarettes, so I changed to these cherry-flavored ones” Soojin shrugged, the inhaled smoke warm in her chest. “She’s exaggerating, I don’t even smoke every day, not anymore”

Miyeon smiled at Soojin’s mumbles, they truly were better these days. 

In their teen years, they used to sneak out in the middle of the night just to smoke hidden from their parents. They never really questioned each other’s reasons, Soojin knew Miyeon was having a hard time after her mother’s passing and Miyeon knew all about the financial hardships Soojin and her mother went through daily. 

Even if unspoken, they agreed to do it together. 

While they did so, they talked about their problems and worries, Soojin always a great listener, and Miyeon a very caring friend. 

It became their way of escaping throughout their adolescence, smoking soon becoming just an excuse for them to share their burdens.

As they matured they grew out of it, even so, it served as a last resource if they ever felt extremely stressed, needed an excuse to speak privately, or simply were in the mood for it.

By Soojin’s current relaxed semblance, Miyeon knew wasn’t stressed.

“What do you want to talk about?” Miyeon asked, facing the street light in front of them that kept on blinking now and then, making her feel like they were 17 again, hiding from their parents as they shared a single cheap cigarette under that one broke lamp post on their street that nobody cared to fix.

“Straight to the point, huh?” Soojin laughed, following Miyeon’s eyes to face the same lamp post, sharing nostalgia with her. “Have you ever noticed you keep asking Minnie to do stuff for you, like… every minute or so?”

“Hm?” Miyeon questioned, alcohol starting to blur her judgment and words. The slightly fruity smoke surrounded them, and Miyeon wondered if Minnie would mind the taste of it on her lips. “That’s funny, my mom used to say the same thing about my dad”. 

“Say what?”

“That he asked her to do the dumbest things for him just to get her attention” Miyeon blurted out, making a mental note to call her dad the next day. 

Soojin’s feminine laugh broke through Miyeon’s blurred thoughts and she looked at her curiously, only to see her friend take one last drag on her thin cigarette, before flicking away the red-stained bud.

“You’re painfully obvious Cho Miyeon” was what Soojin said to her before patting her shoulder and walking back in. 

“Wait, what you’re talking about?” Miyeon brows furrowed and she mirrored Soojin, flicking her cigarette bud away, rushing after her. “Seo Soojin!”

—

  
Now, when Miyeon said she wanted to take things slow she meant it. 

But the way Minnie whined and pouted her lips drove Miyeon crazy. 

The mere thought of being able to kiss Minnie already sounded like a dream, but Minnie’s clinginess and cuteness towards her these days made Miyeon feel extremely lucky.

“Oh shit, I think I left my wallet in the lab” Miyeon exclaimed, going through her backpack and pockets for the nth time without success. 

It was Wednesday afternoon and Miyeon had just picked Minnie up. 

There was this weird atmosphere between them, even though they had talked about their feelings and about not rushing, what was suppose to be taken slowly was never discussed. Minnie was starting to feel frustrated with Miyeon’s slowness, waiting for her to take the initiative and do something. 

Anything, really.

Didn’t they just talk about liking each other the other day? It felt like they never confessed or kissed, their routines just the same as before.

“I need to go back there, but I can drop you off first?” Miyeon looked at Minnie for validation, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as Minnie glared at her. 

Minnie wished she could punch some sense into her.

“Just go Miyeon!” Minnie bickered, annoyed. 

Miyeon quietly apologized, not sure what was causing recent Minnie’s mood swings, but pretty sure it had something to do with the progress of their relationship. Or in that case, the lack of it.

Confessing had always been the biggest obstacle in Miyeon’s mind, the only one she could see when her thoughts went wild and she played pretend inside her head. She never surpassed this stage, never worried about what came next. All of her scenarios ended up with Minnie’s rejection, not even once did her pessimist heart painted the picture of a successful relationship between them.

So maybe she was a little clueless and slow, but it shouldn’t be so bad, right?

They stopped outside the science department and Miyeon put the car to a stop, guaranteeing she would be quick, not that Minnie minded the wait, but she sulked anyways, frustrated for entirely different reasons. 

The driver’s door slammed and from her closed window, Minnie could she Miyeon rushing into the building. 

Humming to keep herself distracted, Minnie opened the glove compartment and started to analyze Miyeon’s belongings. There were mostly cassette tapes, but she could see a bunch of papers scattered under it, she found most of them to be old receipts and scribbled notes. 

From under every old crumpled paper, she found one single printed picture, the same one she looked at every time she laid in her bed back home, framed and proudly standing on her bedpost. 

_~~_

  
_“Cho Miyeon, we’re going to be late!”_

_It was the first day of high school and Miyeon had already overslept._

_“I’m sorry!” Miyeon struggled to put her shoes on, shirt untucked and unbrushed hair, rushing to follow Minnie to the bus stop. Ahead of them, she could see their other 4 friends waiting at the end of the street, Shuhua frenetically signing for them to hurry._

_“Go ahead!” Minnie yelled, surprising Miyeon as she abruptly stopped in front of her house. “We’ll catch you guys later!”_

_None of them cared to ask why, only exchanging confused looks before leaving them behind, not wanting to be late on their first day._

_“What’s wrong?” Miyeon’s face was flustered and she was out of breath, as she literally jumped out of bed and rushed here. Minnie's glare softened when she noticed just how messy her friend was right now._

_“Seriously, Miyeon” Minnie huffed, trying to tame Miyeon’s hair with her hands, repeatedly stroking it down to make it look presentable. Miyeon only stared at her, pouty lips and soft eyes, as her friend fixed the collar of her shirt and helped her tuck her shirt into her skirt. “You’d walk around looking a mess if it wasn’t for me”._

_Miyeon whined and pushed Minnie’s shoulder so lightly, she may as well had caressed her instead, their laughs heard all over the small neighborhood as they pushed each other around._

_“Girls! Thank God you’re still here” Minnie’s dad's voice broke their little moment off, a heavy accent rolling over his words and a huge camera on his hands. “Let me take of picture of you two together, my baby’s first day of school!”_

_Minnie whined, embarrassed, as her dad's loud laugh echoed on the street. He instructed them to stand in front of the door and struggled to adjust whatever it needed to be adjusted on his expensive oversized camera._

_“Stand closer to each other— Yes! I’m going to count to 3, ok?”_

_Miyeon and Minnie stood shoulder to shoulder awkwardly._

_“3!”_

_Minnie peeked at her friend, a smile starting to form on her face as she stared back at the camera._

_“2!”_

_Feeling this unusual rush of joy and excitement, Minnie wrapped her arm around Miyeon’s shoulder._

_From the corner of her eye, she could see sense Miyeon’s quick surprised glance._

_“1—Smile!”_

  
_~~_

  
Minnie smiled as she ran her index finger carefully around Miyeon’s face, smiling from ear to ear with bangs just above her eyebrows, making her look even younger than she was. By her side, Minnie smiled just as brightly, long middle-part hair and fuller cheeks, arm resting over Miyeon’s shoulder. 

Her dad had printed out several copies of the photo and gave a couple to Miyeon, that she knew, she just didn’t expect the woman to keep one in her car. 

Unable to stay mad at Miyeon, Minnie’s heart bloomed, filled with happiness, as she analyzed the picture one more time. 

Wondering if there was something written on the back, Minnie flipped the photography to find Miyeon’s unmistakable handwriting filling a little space on the corner.

_‘Each word you say, each laugh_  
_Even your smallest glances_  
_They mean so much to me_

_1984‘_

Overwhelmed, Minnie reread her friend’s writing over and over, so many times, that she didn’t even notice the car door opening. 

“Hey, did I take too long?” Miyeon worried, fastening her seat belt, not yet realizing her unresponsive friend. 

Worried Minnie progressed to silence treatment, Miyeon called for Minnie’s attention again, only then noticing the open glove compartment and the flipped picture that lied in her hands.

“This is— hm, Sanullim’s song!” Miyeon blurted loudly, bringing Minnie’s attention to her as she fidgeted with her seat belt nervously. Even though her feelings for her were already exposed, she still felt defensive. God, what if Minnie thought she was some kind of obsessive creep now? “The Meaning of You, the song— from 1984… their 10th album, I like that song”  
  
Minnie’s glare interrupted Miyeon’s rumbling and froze her to the spot, only her eyes moving to follow Minnie as she slowly placed the picture back where it was before, closing the glove box and unfastening her seat belt.

“Mi—Minnie” Miyeon stuttered, gulping down her excuses when she noticed Minnie didn’t seem mad at all, she looked… amused? She had this smirk on the corner of her mouth, twitching like she wanted to laugh and Miyeon couldn’t figure out if she was making fun of her or was still pissed. 

“I didn’t think I would have to do this, but you’re so slow it’s infuriating,” Minnie started, ignoring Miyeon’s confused puppy eyes, she maneuvered over the car’s gear shift and landed on Miyeon’s lap, holding onto her neck for balance. With wide eyes and an empty mind, Miyeon pressed herself further back onto the sit, hands finding their way to Minnie’s back trying to shield her from the steering wheel. “I am going to kiss you and from now on I’m your girlfriend, understood?”

Miyeon nodded dumbly, words failing her as Minnie’s weight on her thighs and flowery scent actively worked to drive her insane. 

The first touch of their lips was affirming, the realization of the past day's events finally sinking in.

This was happening. Minnie was her girlfriend now.

Miyeon snapped out her pessimist trance, kissing Minnie back with all she’s got, because— _fuck it, she can_. Tongues finding their way into each other’s mouths for the second time ever, this time euphorically and fueled with desire, with Miyeon’s slender hands meeting the warm skin of Minnie’s waist from under her thick, oversized sweatshirt. 

Underestimating the power of her touch on the other woman's body, she was surprised to hear Minnie's airy gasp as her fingers grazed on her lower back, glossy eyes lingering as they pulled back to gather their breath. Fascinated and drunk by this newfound power, Miyeon harshly pulled Minnie forward by her hips, aiming for nothing else then to meet her lips again. 

But she had underestimated the power her touch had on Minnie’s body.

She also didn’t take into consideration their current position, and how her rough pull would inevitably make Minnie grind down onto her thighs. 

She didn’t expect the tight grip of Minnie’s hands on her shoulders, or how her head flung back, eyes rolling, as an surprised moan escaped her lips.

But what was even more unexpected to her was the way Minnie’s laugh filled her car afterward. Loud and carefree.

The warm orange light of the sunset kissed Minnie’s skin, making Miyeon feel like she was inside of a movie and this was the scene that everybody was waiting for all along. All the build-up led to this moment, this single mesmerizing shot, that would linger on people’s mind long after the movie was over.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” Miyeon said, words escaping her lips as soon as their eyes met, like rehearsed lines on a script. Minnie smiled in response, her eyes squinting because of the sunlight, the pinkish blush on her cheeks adding a new color to her face.

“And you’re a freaking pervert!” 

They stayed like that for a while, laughing and bickering inside Miyeon’s car, worries and doubts long forgotten.

Miyeon learned then, once and for all, that Minnie wanted this, wanted her cheesy love confessions, liked her sappy little writings, and shared her need for proximity.

Minnie did love her. 

Maybe not for how long as she did, but she loved her now. 

That was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read until here, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Are you guys excited for the comeback? 
> 
> I, personally, am OBSESSED with Miyeon's hime cut and Minnie's red hair. Let's all pray we survive because they are coming after our necks in this comeback. 
> 
> Please remember to support the girls and stream their MV when is out, let's make this comeback legendary for them! 
> 
> As Minnie said we should dream big!
> 
> I hope you're all well and safe!


End file.
